New Oreos! (I think)

Lately I’ve been getting my blog ideas simply by shopping at the local supermarket. If I think it’s interesting, I feel compelled to let others know, and the biggest grapevine out there is the internet. When I was looking for snacks to pick up, my wife pointed out two special Oreo packages I’ve never seen before. They’re named Berry Burst Ice Cream Oreos and Triple Double Oreos.

Berry Burst Ice Cream Oreos

The Berry Burst cookies are supposed to be some sort of Ice Cream flavor. The packaging has a picture of something that looks like strawberry ice cream. The picture looked good to me so I had to try it. When I opened the package at home and looked at the cookie, I noticed that the cream was kinda pinkish red, a bit more darker that what the package promised. When I twisted off one side to get a better look, the cream was pinkish red with small red dots covering it. I realized that people only look like that when they’re sick. I’m here writing this so all turned out well and I was not poisoned.

Cookie Rash?

On a side note, I’m not sure how I feel about the new way to open the package. It has that pull back tab that also closes by sticking it shut. I guess it’s better than opening the package on the side, but I don’t know if the stickiness actually protects against ants or the like. It’s almost like a false sense of security, similar to the TSA.

Cookie Sardines?

I think the taste is pretty decent. It didn’t taste like ice cream, but more like cake frosting that one buys when making cake at home, maybe Duncan Hines or something like that. My wife did not like it and thought it tasted like medicine to her. I didn’t taste any comparison like that but many people have different tastes. I thought it had a good taste and I think I would buy it again as long as it doesn’t give anyone the pox.

Triple Double Oreos

The packaging of the Triple Double Oreos is pretty standard, which includes the splash of milk underneath as if the cookie dropped a little Oreo turd.

Holding up the cookie to inspect it, the obvious reaction is “Damn, that’s a huge bitch!” The cookie is huge and you can feel the buyer’s remorse slowly creeping in even before biting it.  It’s the Big Mac of cookies. You can’t be surprised when eating such a big cookie and then wondering how you got so big.

Sweet Joseph Smith!

The taste is super sugary but I think it’s part of the charm. Chocolate and vanilla (or just white) mashed together is a pretty good idea and it works. However, anyone who is watching their weight should stay away. In fact, weight watchers should probably stay away from all these cookies. Nabisco is great when it comes to sugary treats, but for the love of God, don’t sue them if you do get a weight problem from eating their snacks. Enjoy in moderation and you’ll do fine.

How about a nice…Albanian Punch?

During my usual food shopping session, I was meandering through the soda isle when I discovered this:

Whoa! The Hawaiian Punch guy is no longer albino. He actually has color now. Somebody was now able to afford crayons. My whole life, I have only seen the Hawaiian Punch guy as white-colored or no color.

I also just found out that the Hawaiian Punch guy is named “Punchy.” He has a bad habit of tricking the same guy into asking for a right hook instead of juice. It reminds me of the Bush Club in school. We would ask some fool if he would like to join the Bush Club on the way to or from school. If he said yeah, he would be pushed into a bush we all would be walking by. Obviously we would ask one of our friends who didn’t know the trick when we were near some bushes. We were jerks.

Anyway, is Punchy supposed to be Hawaiian or Samoan? I’ve seen people like The Rock or native Hawaiians and Punchy doesn’t look like that. Is he Italian? Romanian? Albanian? Either way, I don’t like the change. Why mess with something that works, especially when it worked for decades?

I’m not racist, but I don’t like it.

Luckily, there is no indication that the company messed with the formula. It probably still is the sugary punch taste that we all know and love. I actually slightly water it down when I drink it because I cut down my sugar intake and gotten used to less sugar. One part water and three parts juice works for me. Maybe an extra part of rum to make the morning sweeter.

So how do you feel about the change? Like? Hate? Leave a comment.

Cooking with Coca Cola

In this blog, I like to write about stuff from my childhood, but I also write about random happenings in my life. I can’t always write about my past because eventually I’ll run out of subjects to blog about. This time I want to write about something I saw in the supermarket.

As I was about to check out and pay for my groceries recently, I did the triple take at the impulse magazine rack:

What the hell? I opened it up and saw that this is a recipe book released by Coca Cola. Initially I was confused because Coke is a drink. Why would they have a recipe book? Do they want customers to have Coca Cola Freestyle drinks at home?

No. These recipes combine soda with cooking the same way cooks use wine or beer. It sounds interesting because Coca Cola has a distinct taste and I really want to know if the flavor really influences their dishes, or if it is just a gimmick. I have used wine when cooking food like chicken and I believe the poultry had a better flavor. I tried to make beer battered fried chicken and it was just okay. Maybe I didn’t fry the chicken right, but it was too big a hassle to repeat it. I have less annoying things to do, like get root canals at the local dentist school. In any case, the publishers got my $4.

As with any other book, I read the introduction to get a feel for the book. I found out that cooks have used Coca Cola with their recipes for decades. Yet, this is the first time I’ve ever heard of it. The book itself states that there are 44 recipes with soda in it, and there are 19 recipes that can be served with Coke. That is, drinking Coca Cola in the can with the meal. That’s weird. I have several other cookbooks and I found one thing in common between them: EVERY recipe in these books can be served with Coke. I guess the writers ran out of ideas and needed filler to have a complete book. I’m already regretting spending $4.

Okay, so I started to read why one would want to put soda in their food. The book stated that it gives a full body and uniqueness. This is starting to fall under beer talk. I love beer but I have no idea about the process or ingredients used to make it. I know that hops and barley are used but that’s all I can tell you. Reading things like “full body” doesn’t do anything for me. Is that opposed to a quadriplegic body? Are these recipes related to Johnny has his Gun? That’s messed up, Coca Cola. First Nazi collaboration and now teasing the injured? That’s messed up.

There are also other words in there such as, sweetness, depth, flavor enhancing, and tenderizes. I will get back to this shortly (if I remember).

The table of contents looks like any other cookbooks you may have read. There are sections for soups and starters, entrees that have pork, beef, poultry, and seafood, sides, sauces, salads, and finally, desserts. This book is a pretty good money-maker for Coca Cola. I only spent $4 on the book, but if I want to make anything from it, I have to buy the soda. What a great idea. If I was a jerk, I would try to make money with my blog in a similar fashion.

After flipping through the entrees for something to make, I decided to try the Country Captain Chicken.

It doesn’t seem too hard to make, which is good because I’m not the chef of the future. Sometimes I like to try new recipes just to get some variety in my food. I can’t eat Chef Boyardee’s all the time, especially since they don’t have character shapes anymore.

Okay, so I had a heck of a time looking for all the ingredients I needed and had to go through certain supermarket isles several times until I found them all. It looks like a lot and it certainly is for me, but real chefs would laugh at this list, then laugh at me, pointing and calling me “sissy girl.” I am used to using a packet with seasonings to marinate meat and that’s pretty much it. A rice cooker and frozen vegetables would help me make an easy dinner, so this recipe here is serious business, and I don’t do serious.

ITS NOT THAT HARD

Next, I joined the smaller spices with the tomato products and mixed them up in a bowl. It didn’t look too great but I know that will change as the food cooked. I also cut up the vegetables and put them in their bowls. I surprised myself with the ease of cutting the pepper and onion because I’ve cut them before and it never went this smoothly.

The onions still almost melted my eyes out but I think watching too much Food Network let me know how to cut these veggies with ease. I guess watching chef reality shows with people crying like fools after their elimination actually came in handy. I’m such a mean bastard.

I also had to combine chicken broth and the soda together so that I can pour it in the skillet. The combo looked like nothing I would ever want to eat. I had to remember again that it’s all going to look different in the end.

EWWWW!

Now was the point of no return. I had to brown the chicken on both sides in olive oil. I’m really glad the directions said how long to brown them. I really suck at frying anything and either overcook or undercook meat. I was starting to worry about not seasoning the meat before like I usually do. I was hoping that this meat wouldn’t be the Chipolte Restaurant version of this recipe: boring and bland.

PLEASE COME OUT OKAY

Once I browned the chicken, I took it out and fryed the veggies in the same pan and oil. As the peppers and onions start getting soft, the yummy smell starts to waft through the kitchen. The combo of flavors is getting me more hungry and I want to eat already. I’m hoping the result is as promising as the smells predict.

BEFORE &

AFTER

So now I add the sauce and soda/broth and eventually the chicken and then let it simmer for 15-20 minutes. The rice is in the cooker, ready to go, and once the chicken simmers, it’s go time.

Finally, after all the “work” that I did, the shopping for different items, the eye-scorching onions, and the hope that I didn’t forget anything, this is the result:

The taste…not bad. I don’t taste any Coca Cola and it’s kinda tasty. The chicken is tendered well and it has a sort of sweet taste. The adjectives used for cooking with this soda are true.

My wife thought it was a little too sweet for her tastes. I thought it was okay. However, I did seem like a lot of work. Like I said before, I don’t put much into making food. I don’t think this is something I could do regularly.

Still, I think I would try a few more recipes before I put the book with the other dust-covered recipe books on the shelf. There was some good-looking desserts and other entrees I may try. It’s always fun to try a new recipe, and it’s also a good way to keep blog readers busy. Be busy my friends.