How about a nice…Albanian Punch?

During my usual food shopping session, I was meandering through the soda isle when I discovered this:

Hawaiian Punch

Whoa! The Hawaiian Punch guy is no longer albino. He actually has color now. Somebody was now able to afford crayons. My whole life, I have only seen the Hawaiian Punch guy as white-colored or no color.

White Punchy
I also just found out that the Hawaiian Punch guy is named “Punchy.” He has a bad habit of tricking the same guy into asking for a right hook instead of juice. It reminds me of the Bush Club in school. We would ask some fool if he would like to join the Bush Club on the way to or from school. If he said yeah, he would be pushed into a bush we all would be walking by. Obviously we would ask one of our friends who didn’t know the trick when we were near some bushes. We were jerks.

Anyway, is Punchy supposed to be Hawaiian or Samoan? I’ve seen people like The Rock or native Hawaiians and Punchy doesn’t look like that. Is he Italian? Romanian? Albanian? Either way, I don’t like the change. Why mess with something that works, especially when it worked for decades?


I’m not racist, but I don’t like it.

Luckily, there is no indication that the company messed with the formula. It probably still is the sugary punch taste that we all know and love. I actually slightly water it down when I drink it because I cut down my sugar intake and gotten used to less sugar. One part water and three parts juice works for me. Maybe an extra part of rum to make the morning sweeter.

So how do you feel about the change? Like? Hate? Leave a comment.

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2 Responses to “How about a nice…Albanian Punch?”

  1. Rev. Back It On Up 13 Says:

    In a million years, I never would have noticed this. That’s why I count on you.

    I don’t care for it. Previous incarnations of Punchy showed him colorless, but also without borders. His clothes ran into his skin and back into clothes again, as though he were an amorphic blob of sentient, punch-loving neurons, constantly firing on two missions: hit suckers in the face, and drink Hawaiian Punch.

    This new guy is so blase I almost can’t stand it. No sir, I don’t like this.

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