Eat $#!@, not that!

It’s the evolution of men’s magazines snatching my money.

I’ve read Men’s Health magazine for many years now and I became interested when I heard of the concept of “Eat this, not that,” and the books that were released. These books showed an easy way to avoid eating half a day’s worth of calories in one sitting when eating at a restaurant. However, I have someissues when that way of thinking is applied to the holidays.

First, let me quickly talk about the “Eat this, not that” books. They’re basically books that compare similar foods and informs you of the choice with less calories.

The comparison of calories opened my eyes to the kind of stuff I put into my body. A Big Mac has over 200 calories less than a Whopper? It’s still not great since 540 calories is still pretty bad for a sandwich in a meal. I found out through further investigation that a Whopper Jr. with no cheese and no mayo is only 290 calories. Also, a small order of Burger King fries is 340 calories, about 50 calories more than the special made Whopper Jr. So eating two Whopper Jr.’s with no cheese and no mayo with a diet Coke is “healthier” than a small Whopper Jr. meal.

Of course, the smarter idea would be to make a healthier lunch or break out a Lean Cuisine, but that is not always practical, and there’s only so many times one can stomach Subway sandwiches. The same goes for breakfast.

How the hell can an Egg McMuffin be 170 calories less than a plain bagel with cream cheese? These books can have some boggling facts about food. I can’t even look at Chili’s the same way again.

One plate can have almost a thousand calories more than the other. That’s crazy, bro. That’s crazy.

However, the issue I have with the idea is that it should be followed throughout the holidays. I don’t think that would work, not because it’s impossible to follow, but maybe it shouldn’t be followed. Look, I know it’s important to watch what you eat and there’s an obesity epidemic, but I don’t think that cutting out traditional food is going to solve the problem. I saw a holiday edition of these books, which is understandably smaller than the other books and for some reason I can’t find a photo of it, but most people put on a few pounds during the Christmas season anyway.

I know Egg Nog is unhealthy, but I still drink it. I don’t drink it everyday and I only drink it in December. I’m not going to only drink Hot Chocolate and forgo Egg Nog. That’s crazy, bro.

I think the idea of New Year’s Resolutions came from some loser clown who overheard a conversation. Two people were probably talking about going to the gym after New Years in order to lose the added weight and the eavesdropper probably thought it was a year long plan for the New Year. Antisocial losers like that causes all kinds of problems.

Facebook is going to be the next big thing?

People are going to do what they’re going to do on the holidays and that includes drinking up a storm, eating all kinds of fatty comfort foods, and eat lots of sweets. As long as one doesn’t pig out the whole year and at least makes an attempt to ease on the fat intake, it’s okay to let go on the holidays. Aren’t these celebrations supposed to be about fun?

I think it is.

Related articles

• 10 Tips for Healthy Eating On the Run? (dailydosetips.wordpress.com)
• Tis the season to eat! (jennicinparadise.com)
• All You Can Eat Whoppers at Burger King in Japan for 2 Weeks (aht.seriouseats.com)

New Oreos! (I think)

Lately I’ve been getting my blog ideas simply by shopping at the local supermarket. If I think it’s interesting, I feel compelled to let others know, and the biggest grapevine out there is the internet. When I was looking for snacks to pick up, my wife pointed out two special Oreo packages I’ve never seen before. They’re named Berry Burst Ice Cream Oreos and Triple Double Oreos.

Berry Burst Ice Cream Oreos

The Berry Burst cookies are supposed to be some sort of Ice Cream flavor. The packaging has a picture of something that looks like strawberry ice cream. The picture looked good to me so I had to try it. When I opened the package at home and looked at the cookie, I noticed that the cream was kinda pinkish red, a bit more darker that what the package promised. When I twisted off one side to get a better look, the cream was pinkish red with small red dots covering it. I realized that people only look like that when they’re sick. I’m here writing this so all turned out well and I was not poisoned.

Cookie Rash?

On a side note, I’m not sure how I feel about the new way to open the package. It has that pull back tab that also closes by sticking it shut. I guess it’s better than opening the package on the side, but I don’t know if the stickiness actually protects against ants or the like. It’s almost like a false sense of security, similar to the TSA.

Cookie Sardines?

I think the taste is pretty decent. It didn’t taste like ice cream, but more like cake frosting that one buys when making cake at home, maybe Duncan Hines or something like that. My wife did not like it and thought it tasted like medicine to her. I didn’t taste any comparison like that but many people have different tastes. I thought it had a good taste and I think I would buy it again as long as it doesn’t give anyone the pox.

Triple Double Oreos

The packaging of the Triple Double Oreos is pretty standard, which includes the splash of milk underneath as if the cookie dropped a little Oreo turd.

Holding up the cookie to inspect it, the obvious reaction is “Damn, that’s a huge bitch!” The cookie is huge and you can feel the buyer’s remorse slowly creeping in even before biting it.  It’s the Big Mac of cookies. You can’t be surprised when eating such a big cookie and then wondering how you got so big.

Sweet Joseph Smith!

The taste is super sugary but I think it’s part of the charm. Chocolate and vanilla (or just white) mashed together is a pretty good idea and it works. However, anyone who is watching their weight should stay away. In fact, weight watchers should probably stay away from all these cookies. Nabisco is great when it comes to sugary treats, but for the love of God, don’t sue them if you do get a weight problem from eating their snacks. Enjoy in moderation and you’ll do fine.