Twilight VS. The Lost Boys

Twilight VS. The Lost Boys

In the past, I have avoided watching the movie Twilight because of word of mouth complaints with the story, but I have decided to catch a viewing during a recent lazy Sunday afternoon with nothing else interesting on television. I selected the movie on Showtime on Demand and finally was able to see for myself and decide if it was a good movie. After watching the movie, I cannot believe it won so many awards and made so much money. I had to force myself to watch it to the end in order to make a proper judgment. I wish I didn’t.

Am I really out of the loop with modern pop culture? Is this what people want to see? Am I that old? No, it can’t be. How can a movie like Twilight make more money than Interview with the Vampire, Blade, and The Lost Boys, and why can’t I figure out how? Compare for example, the movies Twilight and The Lost Boys; they both were popular teen vampire movies of their time, yet Twilight is more successful. Here are a few comparisons I made between the two and my argument on why The Lost Boys is better than Twilight.

1. Recreation

Motorcycles VS. Baseball
Motorcycles VS. Baseball

There are probably countless ways an immortal can pass the time. Forever is mighty long and that is plenty of time to gain and lose interests in all sorts of things. In Twilight, the vampires play ultra-baseball and make plays while posing in the air with lightning bolts around them. I don’t know about vampires, but I stopped attempting to look cool in front of my family a long time ago. In The Lost Boys, the vampires race on their motorcycles and sucker humans to ride off cliffs. I have to give this one to The Lost Boys because motorcycles make anything much cooler.

2. Feeding

People VS. Animals
People VS. Animals

It’s been long established that vampires usually drink human blood and like to bite people on their neck or near their grapefruits. So why does Twilight feel the need to mess with the formula? In the movie, Edward states that he’s a vegetarian and that he only eats animals instead of people. While I can appreciate that form of vegetarianism, it doesn’t mesh with vampires. It’s like Cookie Monster giving up cookies; these things should not happen. In The Lost Boys, the vampires go all out and eat people every night. They are as violent as vampires should be; tearing up cars to get to their prey, or even biting bald heads so hard that blood gushes out in a manner similar to opening a shaken can of beer. That’s what people want to see, or at least it was.

3. Location

Forks VS. Santa Carla
Forks VS. Santa Carla

Any fan of vampires knows that they can dwell anywhere as long as they have a place to rest safely. The vampire movies takes place in Santa Carla, California, the murder capital of the world, and Forks, Washington, the logging capital of the world. Even though Santa Carla gained an unflattering reputation, the word of mouth haven’t been spreading the news and tourists flock to the town, ripe for the vampire pickings. Forks, Washington has a population of just over 3,500 which means that most residents would notice if people started disappearing. The blood suckers also have to worry about killing off all the animals in the forest just to survive. Who wants to see a vampire movie where they probably deer farm? How far this genre has fallen.

4. Super Powers

Flying VS. Jumps
Flying VS. Jumps

Every vampire movie gives powers to the “cold ones” that help drive the popularity among fans of the genre. Many movies have certain powers in common, such as super speed and strength, but they also have their own powers specifically for their own films. In Twilight, the vampires can climb trees and jump far. Basically, they have squirrel powers. In the Lost Boys, the vampires can fly. Yes, they can pull a Peter Pan, which makes their hunting very effective. Flying beats jumping any day of the week. No brainer here.

5. Daylight Hours

Sleep VS. Glitter
Sleeping VS. Glitter

Since The Lost Boys are regular vampires, they have to sleep during the day. These vampires burn to death if sunlight touches them. Naturally, this weakness would automatically give the vote to Twilight…but not so fast. In the scene where Edward lets the sun touch him in the forest, I figured it wouldn’t affect him, similar to Blade. However, something happened that made me lose all faith in Hollywood. The damn vampire started to glitter. GLITTER! The only reason a man should glitter is if he’s in an all-male discotheque. That revelation made me cry myself to sleep that night and repeatedly punch my pillow, especially with the thought of the Twilight series as the most successful vampire movies of all time pounding my brain.

In addition, why is a vampire who’s over 100 years old attending high school? If he’s not robbing the cradle with every female student in school, why is he wasting his time? Why go through the charade when things like Homeschooling exist?

Conclusion

As you can see, it’s a shutout. The Lost Boys beats Twilight in every way imaginable. Maybe I’m just getting old, or Hollywood is putting out horrible trash…or both. Yeah, The Lost Boys sequels were crap, but they probably would’ve been much better if they were made back to back, just as Twilight is doing. Am I wrong? Any readers please leave comments and let me know why you agree or disagree. Help bring me out of the dark!

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6 Responses to “Twilight VS. The Lost Boys”

  1. Jason Says:

    Twilight sucks!! I refuse to ever watch any of those movies. The lost boys on the other hand, is re-watchable, time and time again. For some strange reason, I always remember the box of Peanut Butter Boppers in the refrigerator. Twilight is lss about vampires and more about fairies. Let’s see..they jump from tree to tree, they have an extremely soft side and they sparkle. Sounds more like fairies than vampires. But let’s remember, most of the people making this series popular are eleventeen year olds. We are getting old, but that’s not the reason to why these Twilight movies suck.

  2. Carpe Noctum Says:

    10 REASONS THE LOST BOYS IS BETTER THAN TWILIGHT.

    1. Well to get it out of the way….The Lost Boys in ever aspect of filmmaking (be it direction, cinematography, editing, lighting and so on) is far superior to Twilight despite the fact the film is 20 years older…but that’s just common scene….so on to the rest
    2. In the Lost Boys the gang of vampires sleep all day and party all night, Edward and his family go to school?….they are all over 100 years old……HMMMMMMM (paedophile vampires?)
    3. The “Lost Boys” tear up the boardwalks of Santa Carla on there kick ass motorcycles while Edward drives around in his Volvo (despite the fact he can run faster than the car)
    4. The Lost Boys has blood in it and people die (this I have been told is not uncommon in vampire films and literature)
    5. The Soundtracks of the Lost Boys has “INXS” “ECHO AND THE BUNNYMEN” with a nice cover of the doors, “LOU GRAMM” and the haunting “CRY LITTLE SISTER by GERALD MCMANN”….Twilight has…emmmmmmm……hmmmmmmm…some Emo bands??? MUSE they have MUSE!!!! And….well they have MUSE!!!…..
    6. The “Lost Boys” are fans of “The Doors” and have a cool poster of the lizard king himself on the wall of there lair!!!
    7. Star is sexy as fuck!!!…Bella emmmm no thanks…lets be honest you would probably stick it to Mike and Sam’s Milf before Bella…I KNOW I WOULD!!!
    8. Edward can jump from tree to tree like a big gay squirrel; The “Lost Boys” can FLY BABY!!!!!!
    9. The lost boys have the brains to kill in the “City of Santa Carla”…after all if you live in a town of 3,500 people….like say Forks, Washington…..well people tend to notice little things like disappearances and a family of people who look a little like….. well…..VAMPIRES
    10. the final reason why the “Lost Boys” is better than “Twilight”……………..Because Twilight is Gay….FACT……Ask anyone who is not a 14 year old girl!!!!

  3. HEATHER Says:

    I am a fourteen year old girl, and i think that Twilight is the antichrist to all vampire films!!! The lost boys is kick ass! Reasons:
    1. Kiefer Sutherland is sexy as hell, and Robert is…eerrm…pathetic, and a huge poser!
    2. I don’t even think Stephanie Meyer knows what a real vampire is!!! Come on! A vegetarian?! Are you kidding me?! Oh how sweet of you Edward…HE IS NOT A FUCKING VAMPIRE!!! WE EAT ANIMALS FOR GOD SAKE!!!
    3. Location…not only does the murder capital make sense, but it’s actually interesting!!! All Edward and Bella do is prance around a forest, pretending to be fairy princesses.
    4. THE FANS!!! Twihards are illiterate, and emotional teenaged girls who cannot keep their hormones in check, and all the fandom really does is bad mouth Harry Potter! They don’t even take the time to realize that what they are fanning so hard about has NO LEGITIMATE PLOT LINE!!!!!!
    5.you guys have already covered all of my complaints mostly, but i just felt like proving that not all 14 year old girls are obsessed with pretty boy! I shun those types! Don’t worry, this generation is not completely doomed!

  4. Elliott Says:

    Heather, thank you so much for clearing up that our generation isn’t doomed because I am a fourteen year old boy and I hate Twilight so much whereas The Lost Boys is just simply amazing. You are the only other fourteen year old who likes The Lost Boys and hates Twilight so I respect you and thank you.

  5. eddie Says:

    the original sequel to the lost boys was the lost girls with david returning as the leader with females vampires

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